Why am I even blogging?

I think that this is one of the most truest things in the world, because until you dive in, you have no clue what awaits for you.

My name is Jasmine. I am nineteen & passionate. Things haven't always been good in life, that's why I've decided to start this blog. Maybe I can help some people along the way. I grew up in a really small town in McDonald County. Growing up in the middle of nowhere in Missouri had its perks and downfalls. For example, you could run around free, barefoot, and wild down the dirt roads but you also had to watch out for the crack heads running around in town. I grew up in a good home. Looking back I always thought that I had it so bad, when in all actuality I had it better than some people I know. My mom and dad always kept food in our bellies and we always had a place to sleep. I was a sheltered child. Being the first born I wasn't allowed to do much, let alone watch a rated R movie. Of course I was a rebel child. I swear I was always causing trouble for my parents. I have anger issues (which have bettered now), I'm bipolar, and have really bad anxiety.

During my middle school-high school years I struggled really bad with depression. I started hanging out with this new friend & started drinking and smoking pot regularly, at 14. I was hanging out with the older kids and thought that's such a cool way to have fun. There was a lot of crying and self pitty during those days. I was suicidal, I'm not sure my parents even knew. The one I thought was my true love in my life kept breaking my heart and causing so much pain it was unbearable. Little did I know I would be okay after about 4 years later. His name was Tyler and for some stupid reason I was head over heels for this guy. I met him when I was 14, he was 4 years older than me, and always told me "When you turn 18 we will run away together.". Now back then that made me swoon. Now that I'm looking back on it, all he did was use me and break my heart to be with my best friend at the time, then me & back and fourth. That went on for almost 4 years until I got with my fiance.

I don't know how this is going to be reacted to when I publish it but I'm hoping all goes well. This is the end of my first blog, but I will be telling you the start of Rodney and I, and all the adventures we've been through in the past almost 3 years together.

Signing off.